Lived Experience Forum

[The-red-centaur]

I'm doing trauma counselling at the moment. I'm finding it beneficial but sometimes, like tonight, I find it hard to process what we talk about. It hurts and I can't deal with it.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to cope with therapy?

[Owlunar]

That's an interesting question @The-red-centaur - oooohh - I wish I knew

The last therapist I saw seemed to have an a;lmost pathological need to probe under the skin of my past and I didn't like it - and I thought - "Why am I doing this? Why am I spending money to tell this person what I already know? It's tearing me up. I don't like this."

Circumstances intervened and I stopped seeing her but I know what you are saying - at least I think I do. I live alone and so when I got home I had to tell my cat about it - at least I could hear my own voice without someone interupting with another question before I had already dealt with the last one

I was frustrated - my doctor gave me another referral and now they have a psychogist at my clinic but I haven't felt the need to see another therapist and I have considered this as an important idea.

But we are all different - it could be that this person was the wrong person for me but it did shove me out of that uncomfortable situation with someone picking my insides - does it feel like this for you?

What to do about this though - yes - I hear the question - perhaps this therapist isn't okay for you - maybe this kind of therapy isn't okay for you

One thing I can suggest is to bring this up with the therapist - I can imagine a person being present with a therapist opening up their memories and finding the session not going where they wanted it to - suddenly the session is over - that's it! - see you at your next session and you are out in the waiting room or the street or in your car and eventually home and feel really raw - I have been there

So in the past I have talked to a therapist about this - this was a different person who told me something different - she told me she has no idea of how a person feels when she says something - the therapist relies on our feedback

So it is important to be proactive in our therapy and let the therapist know your thoughts - and to me it seems wrong to have the therapist in charge of everything that goes on in the sessions

I feel as if I need to go back and change this but it is thought out and my main idea is to tell the therapist - what to do when you leave feeling frustrated or over-whelmed - to go home crying and to dread the next session because of how you feel afterwards

These are red flags - Red Centaur - I do know what you are talking about though I can't tell how you feel

Dec

And hey - I wonder if there is ever anything called "Post Therapy" - in time we can learn to be our own therapist - therapy can be a life-time project with ourselves and this time we are in charge but we do have intrusive thoughts and triggers. We can learn to breathe through - in the meantime - we need a therapist to help us learn this

[Calmblueocean]

Hi @The-red-centaur, I sometimes  felt it a bit overwhelming. I would get home and find that my thoughts  just wouldn't  stop focusing  on what i went through. I found the best thing for me was to go and do laps at the pool and pretend i was swimming to an island somewhere off the coast of qld. Distraction for a little while helped me process things a little better. Even just a soak in the bath or doing something you find relaxing. Listening to Vivaldi. Whatever to give your brain a rest for a while. Watch a movie. Basically things look better in the morning. You just need to get through the best you can. Easy to say but it does get better and it is very good to get things off your chest but at the same time you can get bogged down by it.Be kind to yourself .

[Calmblueocean]

Hi to all that have come through therapy and felt good about themselves afterwards. Is there even one of us?  I had a thought while i was reading some threads. Why can't we as clients to mental health care make our own recommendations and guidelines into our care? Would it hurt a therapist to ask us what were our plans for after session care? Could they warn us that we might feel awful afterwards, give us some coping mechanisms. Don't  wish to sound condescending to our care providers but there seems to be common experiences that are potentially harmful that are not being addressed. On this forum there are so many people that are hurting. Could we start a page that we could give health care providers suggestions on how to improve things.  Just a thought.

[strong]

Hi @Calmblueocean, @The-red-centaur

I hear what you are saying about having input and support, ‘post therapy’

I was seeing a psychologist who I felt this way with, being pushed into trying to talk about things I didn’t feel prepared to or know how to cope with once I had said things.

Left feeling unsupported after a session.

Only after a stay in hospital did I have the opportunity to meet a different psychologist, and I have a completely different outlook on my treatment.

i am in the drivers seat as to what I want to achieve, we planned at the start on what I want from my treatment. We talked about ways of achieving things, it is my choice how fast or slow or what direction we take.

I said that I never realised that this could be planned and have direction like this to her and she said, this is my treatment, so of course it is up to me how I want to achieve my goals.

It is a great feeling to actually ‘tick off’ little milestones as I am going. I can feel movement forward and can reflect on these, if I ever doubt that.

If we plan on doing some triggering, or difficult work, she is always aware of making sure I am supported by a friend or family that day and the days to follow.

So, I think it is a matter of finding the therapist that will listen and help you, you must be able to trust them with no doubts.