Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

We know you pretty well BB and know when you get angry or really upset (or both) that you want to run away. We also know you will calm down and be able to think more clearly in time @BlueBay Sometimes it takes a little push from us to help you see that Hon but that is okay because we are here for you my little yellow flower 

[BlueBay]

Thankyou lovely @Zoe7

think I need to go to bed. 

I need to write a list fir my doctor for tomorrow 

[Zoe7]

Write the list first then BB then go to bed. Goodluck with your appointment in the morning @BlueBay I'll be thinking of you Hon 

[Shaz51]

thinking of you and sitting with you sister @BlueBay

do your list first xx I need to write in my tonight , I keep forgetting to do it xoxo

[Faith-and-Hope]

@BlueBay .... it's okay to be minimal in how you interact with someone who has upset you .... 

Something I do is think of doing that as a bit of a "time out" from a relationship.  It is possible to stay functioning within the same space, but only speak when you have to, and politely .... like "pass the salt pleas" sort of thing ....  Imagine that there is an invisible bubble around you that protects you from their presence within the same space, and that might help you to not feel the need to run away so much ..... having a sheild up like that, even an imaginary one, can help you find your own space within the space, and put others and their ideas, opinions, needs, wants and behaviours outside your space ..... and it ends up not mattering whether they realise you have done that or not ..... it matters for you.

Hugs Hon .... I hope you sleep well 💙

[BlueBay]

Thankyou fir last night @Faith-and-Hope@Shaz51@Zoe7@outlander

I’m sngry self destructive and self sabotaging  

sad my doctor snd he is challenging me to think positive. I told him I csnt thst every time i get emotional or upset the negative mind thoughts go into automatic pilot. Snd it’s so difficult to get out if it.  It takes time fir me to settle back down sometimes days 

right now I’m in thst “I don’t care snymire my lufe is over “ mood. I’m sngry because I am taking meds. I’m sngry because I just sm. 

I need to stop and have a coffee. I need to stop or else ..... 

I hate being so angry so destructive 

I hate me so much. 

[outlander]

@BlueBay
Are you still seeing your psychologist? I can totally understand your anger but with help you can learn to manage it. Challanging yourself to think positive is ok too but sometimes you need to sit down with someone explore as well as work through that anger and work out some methods that help you to let the anger go abit but in a healthy way so you dont become self destructive. Its not an overnight fix but because its affecting your life quite alot i think it would be worth talking about with your psychologist.

Something that i find helpful is something very simple. Roll up some socks into pairs but a tighter ball and throw them as hard as you can at the wall or the floor. I tend to keep a few just kep a few in a small container in my room so they are ready if i need. Maybe this would work for you as well.

[Zoe7]

Hi @BlueBay Hearing you Hon - it is incredibly tough to get out of that negaitve thinking but you can do it - think about Ayla and keep busy ...that is when you clear your mind a little and can have postiive thoughts replacing those negative ones.

[BlueBay]

Thankyou @Zoe7@outlander

I’m scared I’m getting worse 

My emotions snd thoughts are everywhere 

how sm I meant to “be or think positive” when I’m so caught up with my emotions 

it’s hard 

my doctor says that I’m improving - really? Nit when I’m feeling like this how does he know 

he told me I’ll be the last person to notice it

i hate it so much being challenged 

I’m such a negative person 

will I ever get better - I don’t know I’m so scared I’ll never be better 

I’m scared this is me forever 

do I want change / yes I do but I’m so scared I fear so much 

oh this is dumb it’s nit making sense 

I’m just a bad person who csnt even get my shit together 😢

[Hope4me]

Hi @BlueBay

I'm here if you want to chat. I hear you about being scared the suffering will go on forever. It's one of our curses eh...

Do you want to talk about it?

Hope