Lived Experience Forum

[bipolarbunny]

@Shaz51 @Anastasia @Meowmy @HenryX @Dimity @Mazarita @rivergal @Appleblossom @Judi9877 @frog @Always-hope @Olga 

And another xxx BB 🐰💙

I’m...

I’m scared if I do,

I’m scared if I don’t,

I’m scared that I will,

I’m scared that I won’t,

I’m scared that I can,

I’m scared that I can’t,

I’m scared that I am,

I’m scared that I aren’t.

I’m happy to live,

I’m happy to die,

I’m happy to laugh,

I’m happy to cry,

I’m happy to stay,

I’m happy to leave,

I’m happy to choke,

I’m happy to breathe.

I’m desperate to win,

I’m desperate to lose,

I’m desperate to wake,

I’m desperate to snooze,

I’m desperate to come,

I’m desperate to go,

I’m desperate to hide,

I’m desperate to show.

I’m trapped by a fog,

I’m trapped by a hole,

I’m trapped by a heart,

I’m trapped by a soul,

I’m trapped by a battle,

I’m trapped by a war,

I’m trapped by a window,

I’m trapped by a door.

I’m beaten by judgement,

I’m beaten by blame,

I’m beaten by stigma,

I’m beaten by shame,

I’m beaten by trauma,

I’m beaten by fear,

I’m beaten by anger,

I’m beaten by cheer.

I’m sorry I’m broken,

I’m sorry I’m sad,

I’m sorry I’m wounded,

I’m sorry I’m mad,

I’m sorry I’m weeping,

I’m sorry I’m grave,

I’m sorry I’m cautious,

I’m sorry I’m brave.

I’m trying to conquer,

I’m trying to grow,

I’m trying to shelter,

I’m trying to flow,

I’m trying to open,

I’m trying to give,

I’m trying to salvage,

I’m trying to live.

© BB - 19 Sep 2020

[Appleblossom]

https://www.amazon.com.au/Finding-Sanity-Lithium-Taming-Bipolar/dp/1760113700 

@bipolarbunny Went to a book launch of this, not sure if you are interested, saw on other thread you were thinking of going on it.

[bipolarbunny]

@Appleblossom Thank you my friend, I'll check it out xx BB 🐰💙

[Anastasia]

Love your poems @bipolarbunny 🤗🙏

Oh that L, not the one I had in mind @Appleblossom but even still relevant as unfortunately ✔️

[Appleblossom]

Motions of the Soul

She told me to push the chair

While she clutched a bundle of

Twisting transparent tubes

We had been doing this

Nearly every week

Since she arrived.

The perfect continuous

infinitive verb that is

Palliating.

In play had been an Allegro, an Adagio,

Transcriptions from Hildegard, and a set of

Variations on an Italian Ground.

We trundled back from her piano

In an alcove of the Aged Care home

A nurse passed by and smiled.

"You two play well together"

Mother and I laughed, nodding

My handbag, blockflute and scores

Lay in her lap while the

Oxygen tank trailed behind 

Big and little wheels rattled and rolled.

Easily down the slope, but I

Hold the handles tightly

In case we career out of control.

Its over now

Truth be told

We made a racket.

Edited.  Does it make sense? @bipolarbunny 

[Judi9877]

Hi @bipolarbunny 

Just thought I'd let you know that you inspired me today to pick up the pen and do some writing of sorts - a poem isn't the right word, more like thoughts written in lines - on coronavirus that was in my mind. I'm in Melbourne and I'm scared in what is happening with the new case and the possibility of another lockdown if it gets serious enough. I think I write like 3 pages describing my thoughts and feelings on the topic- way too long to type and print here and definitely not up to your standard or quality in eyes! Anyway, I found that writing my thoughts and feelings down was very therapeutic and helped make things less scary so I was proud of myself for doing that.

Once again, thank you for sharing your poetry and for inspiring me to write today.

Take care.

Judi9877

[bipolarbunny]

@Appleblossom Oh it does my friend. It's absolutely beautiful, I love it. Please share more! xxx

BB 🐰💙

[bipolarbunny]

@Judi9877 Oh that is so wonderful to hear my friend! I am so happy for you, that you found it therapeutic is wonderful! And I'll let you in on a little secret, anything you write is always perfect the way it is, because it comes from within you. There are no rules. I think that's where people get stuck, they think they have to write a certain way for it to be correct, but that's just not true. If the words come from inside you they are always the right ones and the fact you wrote 3 pages and found it therapeutic proves that. Keep going my friend and please do post some of what you write on here. I would love to read it! And it doesn't need to have rhyme and meter to be a poem. Words on paper ARE poetry. I just write like that I think cause I read a lot of Banjo Paterson growing up and I guess my brain latched on to it. I envy people who can write spoken word! Some of my favourite poets write that way. 

And yes I hear you re the coronavirus situation in Melbourne. I'm in central Victoria so it's not been as bad here with lockdowns but they do take their toll. Just please look after yourself and continue to write as it will help a great deal. xx

Bb 🐰💙

[bipolarbunny]

@Shaz51 @Anastasia @Meowmy @HenryX @Dimity @Mazarita @rivergal @Appleblossom @Judi9877 @frog @Always-hope @Olga @eth @greenpea xxx

I often write in the third person to myself. I find it very difficult to give myself sound advice sometimes and so writing as though it's someone else often helps the advice and self love sink in. So today's thoughts are in that frame of mind. xx

BB 🐰💙

Stop

Stop looking for an answer,

Cause it just does not exist,

The search for the impossible,

Will send you round the twist,

And just when you feel confident,

It isn’t such a farce,

Another thread unravels,

And it bites you in the arse.

Stop striving for perfection,

Cause it cannot be obtained,

The search will leave you empty,

And your passions too restrained,

Accept the little victories,

When failure’s at your door,

Do not invite the bastard in,

Just settle up the score. 

Stop trying to impress the world,

It really does not care,

The more you want celebrity,

The less your heart is there,

To treasure things important,

Shallow wants and needs are dim,

Embrace your altruistic self,

Reject the brother’s Grimm. 

Stop longing for salvation,

From a life you did not want,

If destiny is muddled,

Simply try a different font,

And write your story warts and all,

Then maybe you will find,

The life you thought you wasted,

Was a figment of your mind.

Stop hating your affliction,

It’s a part of who you are,

It’s wrath may not define you,

But it’s got you here so far,

Your character and strength,

Cannot be built by joy alone,

You need the struggle’s tempest,

To turn weakness into stone. 

Stop hoping for a hero,

To come save you from your life,

You have the power deep within,

To combat any strife,

So saddle up and rise beyond,

The hopelessness you feel,

Will soon be marked by bravery,

And battle hardened steel.

Stop searching for a magic fix,

To tame your weary mind,

Embrace the crazy journey,

Hidden treasures you may find,

Lurking amongst the shadows,

Courage lighting you a way,

So lace up, show up, bring it on,

And boldly seize the day!

© BB - 13 May 2021

[eth]

Love it @bipolarbunny  especially the rhythm.