Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

Hey @perseverer @Smc

I started a new discussion as I posted and got off topic in "Things not to say to a carer" thread.

As mentioned there, there is a lot of misunderstanding and misconception in the church in relation to mental health. 

From what I understand there are a few strands of thought that have contributed to the attitudes that dominated in the past but still persist in some.   These include but are not limited to:

- Sufferers of mental health and disorders such as epilepsy were thought to be overtaken by evil spirits when they had hallucinations, catatonia or suffered fits (hence the need for exorcism).

- The belief that mental illness is spiritual deficiency causing mental and emotional strain.

- The belief that if you are not healed following prayer, that you do not have adequate faith or have unrepented sin.

Fortunately as they did with epilepsy, the church is catching up with the science of mental health, and things are changing. 

Faith has been linked to being a protective factor in mental health and in the christian faith reasons for this include but are not limited to:

- God gives strength to endure difficulties.

- God give hope and a reason for living.

- God gives strength to help us grow, demonstrated by putting aside anger, practicing self control, letting go of burdens etc.  In some ways, a sermon on these topics are equivalent to therapy and are particularly helpful in those disorders where learned behaviours diminish symptoms.

- Excessive alcohol consumption is discouraged, some churches discourage drinking any alcohol at all.

- In some cases the listening ear of a pastoral care worker is enough "talk therapy" to get a patient through a depressive or anxious period.

Despite the history of misconceptions in mental health, the church has been prominent in support of those who are not well both physically and mentally - this is demonstrated by the support services and charities that churches run.

Hope this helps

Darcy

[Smc]

Good opening summary @Former-Member.

I'd add that the encouragement to forgive does a lot for mental health. Holding a grudge or nursing offences can do a lot of psychological damage to the offended while not making a blind bit of difference to the offender. Forgiving breaks that cycle- helps the offended person move on, and gives the offender permission to make a fresh start. Self forgiving is also important- I'll bet I'm not the only one here who is my own worst critic. 

Will add, I don't think forgiving someone necessarily means letting them walk all over you. Sometimes there's a necessity to take precautions against repeat offenders; but taking precautions is not equivalent with holding on to animosity.

[Shaz51]

hello @Smc, @Former-Member

 this is very intereting , as I am reading it , my husband asked me about it and I read it to him

I agree with what you are saying

drinking  alcohol -- in the bible it says you should not get drunk , nothing about having a drink

[Former-Member]

You are right @Shaz51

I did use the word 'excessive' in relation to this point rather thsn 'abstinence' as in the New Testament there is direct reference to not getting drunk, whereas in the Old Testament, in particular Proverbs, there are a few references that contain warnings against indulging in wine and strong drink which do not mention being drunk.

Bringing it back to mental health rather than a theological discussion, having an environment where alcohol use is rarely promoted or is in some cases actively discouraged can contribute to the protective factor that faith offers.

Darcy

[pip]

Hi guys, Pip here, after an absence of some months. I attended a 'Carols By Candlelight' service at the church I had been a member of. On the 'meet and greet' door was a chap I had known through my regular attendance. His greeting was to ask 'how was I', followed by the inappropriate question 'Had I been in jail?'. I always assumed if someone met someone they had been acquainted with, but hadn't seen for a while, the normal question would've been 'are you alright', 'have you been on holiday?'. to say I was less than impressed, is an understatement. I was then informed by some of the congregation, who knew both of us, that he was only joking, and I shouldn't take him seriously. To me, that was no joke, it was highly inappropriate and offensive.

[Shaz51]

That is terrible @pip xx

that was highly inappropriate and offensive.

my husband has been through that , but saying "oh you haven`t got a job yet "

[pip]

Hi @Shaz51. These so-called Christians try to tell us that Christ lives within them. I had an interesting convo with a counselor, who informed me that, because Christ (supposedly) walked the earth in human form does not necessarily make him human. This is not meant to be offensive, my sincerest apologies if it does offend. Christ may not have been human, but he had more humility than people who attend church regularly. Christ forgave those who sinned against him -yes, but he never offended against another person by accusing or making inappropriate offensive remarks against them. People who attend church regularly, must leave their emotions at home so they feel they can say anything they like to another person. I would never (consciously) say or do anything to hurt another person as it would hurt me to hurt them. I'm not perfect, but I have a conscience.

[perseverer]

Thank you for opening this discussion, @Former-Member.  In my opinion, it is not the Church itself that considers mental illness to be diabolical in origin, but individuals who want to pass judgement. I say this because when my husband became ill I actually asked a Catholic priest about the possiblity of diabolical obsession. He very carefully explained to me that the Church exercises profound scrutiny when examinging cases for exorcism and that all natural explanations have to be dismissed first. So if a person goes to the Diocesan Office seeking exorcism, the first thing they will be asked to do is see a psychiatrist, and a psychiatric report will be done first. The priest told me that my husband had psychological problems.

Interestingly, that same priest was one of the ones present at that staff meeting in which a colleague said she could recommend me a good exorcist. Like everyone else he remained silent. I was scapegoated. Although I am saddened by his cowardice, I do forgive him and everyone else. But if anything like that ever happens again, I will say, "What a cheap shot. But easier than actually researching and understanding the illness."

[pip]

Hi @perseverer. Your observation about the individuals who regularly attend church, but ostracize those who suffer mental health issues is quite interesting. People who are considered 'different' by the church are those who are 'gay', or suffer any sort of mental health issue. One of the people I became acquainted with during my brief encounter with the church had been married to someone with bipolar. She had decided to abandon the marriage and she still referred to herself as a 'Christian'. I met the hubby who appeared to be extremely depressed and lonely. This woman hardly spoke to him, only to admonish him. I have noticed the referral to 'Gays' as people who are 'not normal', and other offensive remarks. If Jesus could accept all as equal, why can't the church. Who are these people who believe they have the right to discriminate when society is fighting for the right to live as free. Your hubby, as others with issues of health or gender has feelings that are often ignored. People are people, treat everyone the same, with respect and kindness.

[perseverer]

I was psychotic and you . . . 

massaged me                    ostracised me
listened to me                   blamed me
had coffee with me           judged me
sat with me                       shrinked me
sheltered me                     turned me away
comforted me                   robbed me
got help for me                 beat me

Christians of all people should get it.