Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

@Wanderer It is hard when you have been hurt by those closest to you - you fear the inevitable happening again and can't get any enjoyment out of the nice things they do and say as a result. I understand that wall building - still do that to a certain extent with my family - that has improved of late though.

Not good that you are still feeling so down - selling the farm whilst necessary would be adding more pressure on you too - especially as you do not have a house of your own yet to move into. Go easy on yourself @Wanderer  - you are doing the best you can do under the circumstances 

[Wanderer]

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[Zoe7]

I felt every word you wrote here @Wanderer  It is so hard to get through every day when you feel in such a precarious position. It is great that your daughter is trying but I also understand that reluctance to believe in the efforts when you have been so badly hurt by her words. It is a good sign though that she understands how her actions have affected you and is trying - hopefully that continues and you can begin to trust in her and the rest of the world again. Trust is such a hard thing to find and once we lose that it is so incredibly hard to get back. It makes it even harder when your emotions are constantly changing - there is no peace in that at all @Wanderer  - it is just a rollercoaster as you have stated. My thoughts are definitley with you. I hope today is a good day for you and you can feel a little less conflicted with your emotions admist it all.

[Wanderer]

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[Zoe7]

You definitely have a lot going on still @Wanderer  It is hard chasing up people for money - especially after so long - hope that all gets sorted for you soon too.

You do sound a little brighter today though - hope that continues throughout the day as you get the things done you need to. I am taking it very easy still after being unwell yesterday. I have already been to the shop and chemist so now can concentrate on a few things I need to get done around the house. Definitely will be only doing a little today with plenty of resting in between - I have more energy than I had yesterday but don't want to ver do it.

It is lovely that you think of others on the forum @Wanderer - I think this community is somewhere that we see the best of humanity with how well each one of us supports each other despite what each individual is themselves going through - it is certainly not a reflection on wider society - it would be a much better world if it was!

[Wanderer]

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[Zoe7]

Love that image @Wanderer  It is so bright and vibrant 

I hope the silage payment issue is sorted quickly - it is very frustrating when someone tries to back down on an agreed price so hoping it is worked out very soon for you.

Glad despite that happening that you had a good day yesterday. I ended up going to my sister's for dinner and it was a really lovely evening. We may even make it a regular thing but that will depend on what I need to get done in the future for work.

Hope today is a good day for you 

[Wanderer]

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[Zoe7]

I did think it was a real photo @Wanderer  - really beautiful 

Glad the silage issue has been resolved despite it has been at a cost to you. Will be good to have that part of the farm sorted though. 

Not sleeping is not good - it affects our days so much - hope you can sleep tonight and get plenty of rest during the remainder of today.

I am waiting to hear back from a friend who may call in this afternoon so if that happens I hope he doesn't want to come too late as there are things I need to get done before work tomorrow especially a paper I need to finish reading before our meeting after school. It is actually an interesting read about culture and schools.

[Wanderer]

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