Our stories
Good morning, @CheerBear. Thank you (and others) for sending kind messages.
It's the 'blue hour' here. The birds are especially musical this morning. Lovely to wake up to, even groggy and sleepy as I am. Took a prn last night (again) so am especially groggy and sleepy this morning. Even still, didn't get to sleep until getting on to 2am, unusual for me (this last half of this year). And now, as I'm writing, the birds have gone into their quiet time before waking again for more later. Gotta love birds. 
Been thinking of you too and glad to read on the 'checking in' thread how things are going. Many hugs for you for another day. May it treat us both (and everyone) kindly today. 
@CheerBear, thanks again.
I think words are a strong point with you at just about any time of day. They seem to convey a beautiful heart.
I have no plans for today, just hoping I don't continue to wallow in feeling sorry for myself as much as yesterday (and probably the day before). But if I do, well, I guess I'll accept that part of me too. Which makes it sound as though I accept lots about myself, which in some ways I maybe do, in others not at all. What I'm most looking forward to (as has been the case very much of late), is watching a couple of hours of Star Trek at 4.30. 
Hoping there are some smiles in the day for you, despite all the tough stuff happening.
Hi @Dadcaringalone,
I received your recent message and call for advice in email notifications, but the post seems to have been taken down now. I think it may have been because you mentioned an actual medication name, rather than just use the generic term, 'mood stabiliser'. For better or worse, naming specific medications is against SANE forum guidelines, though posts like that do sometimes slip through. Please don't be discouraged if your post has been moderated. It happens to all of us at one time or another. In any case, I'm going to respond to what I read in email.
I've actually never been hospitalised for my condition. Part of the reason, I think, is that I actively sought private psychiatric care for myself when I became suicidal back in my late 20s. As you might remember from our discussion yesterday, I am now 56 and have not been actively suicidal since.
It sounds like your son is having a bad reaction to the mood stabiliser he has been given and really needs medical follow up on it. In the state where I live, Queensland, there is often follow up on patients after hospital via state community mental health services, who assign a 'case manager' to the patient. I would suggest getting him at the least to a GP about the rash, as it could be an indication of more serious medical health problems with the medication. That specific medication you mentioned is usually followed up with blood tests or other medical monitoring, especially at the onset of treatment. This is to make sure there are no serious liver complications from taking it. So, first things first, get him to a doctor.
Since you say his moods have not been stabilised, and he is as manic as ever, that may suggest the medication has not reached a therapeutic dosage. He really does need to be under the ongoing care of a psychiatrist, the medical doctors who specialise in medications. It's possible your son may also need anti-psychotic medication to assist stabilise his moods. Again, I would be talking to a GP about this, and about getting a referral to a private psychiatrist in your local area. I see no need for him to travel really for treatment, as there are many good private psychiatrists around and their treatment of your son would most likely be a lot more personalised and helpful than the psychiatrists in the public health system, who may be a lot more pressed for time and seeing many patients within a small window of the day.
In terms of his anger, you said on another thread that you were hiding in a room at one time recently for fear of him being violent to you. Has he been violent with family members in the past? If so, I tend to think you have no other choice than to call police and have him admitted to hospital again. It's not right that a caring family should be put in danger by a violent son, whether or not mental illness is involved. Given the extremity of what you are describing with him, it seems like hospital could be the best place for him at this time, for his own wellbeing too. I would only really consider the public health hospitals as crisis centres for times like this, rather than something to depend on for ongoing treatment. Again, I believe a private psychiatrist is the way to go for the long term.
In terms of him being worse than ever with his mania if he is weaned off his current mood stabilising medication, the likelihood is that he would be put onto a different mood stabiliser to replace the first, with possibly an anti-psychotic as well to help with further stabilisation. There may be a time of transition between the medications when he is more unstable than now, which may be another reason to have this done in hospital, rather than while he is roaming around in a very ill state.
Your son does sound very ill indeed and, from my understanding of things, your wife's attitude seems to indicate a huge amount of denial about what is going on with your son. Would it be possible for you to have a really good talk with her about it, and try to convey the rational reasons you are so concerned for your son's mental health? I'm not sure if you and your wife are together or separated from what you have written on the forum, or are living in the same house. How does she view your son's extreme behaviours? Is it possible you need to take the lead in caring for your son's mental health, including some decision-making about it? These are just questions, as I don't have a clear picture of your family situation.
All of this that I have written is based on my own experience with bipolar 1 over my lifetime, what I have come to understand of the condition through my own long term private psychiatric care, the many different experiences I have had with medications for the disorder, knowledge of friends with the same mental health problems, and three years of very active participation in discussions about bipolar on this forum. I am no expert, but I do have a fair bit of 'lived experience' of the condition.
Wishing you well with your break from caring for your son and hoping you are very soon refreshed and able to approach things with fresh eyes to take the next steps.
