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Something’s not right

Re: A long rave

Hello Everyone Smiley Happy

 

I've had the weirdest wheather change here, after a week of living like I was in a fan forced oven - yesterday  I was in long sleeves, trousers & warm socks!, it's a bit more 'normal (whatever that is?) today.

 

I think I may have had a bit of a 'hic-up' with my daughter, caused by her partner. I thought my last phone call with my daughter was the best in almost a year, she texted me asking if it was ok to ring (of corse I said a great big YES!) She told me her eldest had returned home, she sounded very happy about it. She also let me know she couldn't make a payment, but would 'catch-up' with it. A couple of days later her partner rang, he started the conversation with an apology, admtting he had a problem & needed professional help, telling me I was wanted back in their home . . . & then he asked for $300 saying the eldest had accumulated debts while she was away. I specifically asked if the account was in arrears as I didn't want the money gobbled up in fees, he reasured me it would be ok - only to ring back in half an hour and say the money had dissapeared & another 100 should do it. I actually said no.  I've heard nothing since. I sent my daughter a message today, I felt I had to be honest, I told her I was very disappointed with her partner & that I would never give him money again. I don't have a lot of money . . . I never did, but I sure as hell don't now! 

 

I took the puppies for a walk in the forest today, haven't been out there in ages, only went for a short walk as it was just after midday & the shade wasn't over the path. Found a fridge out there & it still had food stuff in it ?!? Someone must have needed to move in a hurry? 

 

I think my brains still in a bit of a fuzzle & this latest family hic-up is threatening to push it back down. I've cancelled the patient lady, she seemed very busy & I felt like a bother. 

 

Oh well, time to go back to a digitally isolated island, it really feels like I can escape the World there.

 

Love to all the need or want it Heart All love gratefully accepted Heart

 

@Mazarita @Appleblossom  @Sophia1  @CheerBear  @outlander  @eth  @Shaz51  @greenpea

Re: A long rave

hello @Appleblossom

I feel very fragile today...close to tears...anxiety levels high..

I ventured out for a walk through the local antique shops...gift shops...garden shop...

had a chat in each one...

I felt very uncomfortable...unsure of myself...afraid that my vulnerability was out there in the open for all to see..

It has been a while since I have done anything like this though...

 

The other thing...I have not been sleeping well either...only had one good night...lack of sleep is the worst scenario for me...

I think that my body clock is still annoyed with me for stopping the strong sleeping tablets...

I prefer that theory to the anxiety taking over....

hope that your sleep returns soon...

ps...ongoing distress with my "family member" does not help either...I noted your comment re your son...

Highlighted

Re: A long rave

hello @Exoplanet

 

love the analogy of the fan forced oven even though experiencing that temperature would not have been fun at all...

Money causes so much trouble..

I can understand your reaction to another call with another request...

 

You have done the right thing @Exoplanet ...as hard as it is not to worry...I have been down this path with my "family member"...having to eventually set personal boundaries...he actually understands this now...occasionally I will relent and say that I will transfer x amount for food only...

I told my sons when they were young when they asked for money that I would go down to the bottom of the garden and pick it off of the money tree...this made them laugh and as a result understand...

We are not personal banks...we are mums...

Thank you for sending love ....I am sending some right back to you ....

You are a lovely person and are doing so well for yourself on your acreage...

I just have to tell you again that you are inspiring...xxCat Happy💜💚💛

 

 

Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Lovely to hear from you @Exoplanet

It sounds like it an ongoing very sad story re money and your daughter's family, whether or not it includes her children or partner ....

Feeling for you.

Money does not fix all problems but it does need to be used wisely.  There are definite lines in the sand to draw rather than being the eternally giving feminine deity.

Heart

Hope you get to patient lady soon.

Digital adventures can help escape .... I watched the Waco doco. I knew it would be triggering but it also was something I needed to sort out in my head, re American in- laws, personalities, culture, values law & order etc etc ....

@Sophia1 Thanks for reading between the lines.  We are all doing our best, but distress is ongoing.

It is so important to distinguish when feelings are related to med changes and thus the body trying to find a new normal ... or level of homeostasis.

I doubt I am on proper med and adjusting incrementally.  Sitting with the pain ... is the theory ... and boy have I given it a lot of practise ... 

Woman Sad

Nevertheless it is good to keep going about our lives.  Glad you had some distraction. 

Woman Happy

I am getting the feeling my pain has been far more evident than I realised.  I remember body language of people we passed in the street when I was a kid, and sometimes there was real shock on a woman's face as I passed by with mother and father. Real shock, shame, sorrow and concern. Was it our clothing or stooped hopeless look etc etc ... I dont know.  it is part of why I became very analytical about all issues of "appearances".... including material, the body and emotional truths.

Heart

@Mazarita I was only partly concerned with fashion as a girl. Certainly put a lot less time in on it than most.  Mostly it was about covering self.  Re shoes I am usually a flats girl, as a tall me seems too much of a good thing ...lol  ...

Buying strappy little sandals was revisiting sifting and eating the last cherry on an old theme/cake lol. What I have to wear ...Finally had freedom to buy some Rivers special ... ha ha ...for me ... and not only being utilitiarian ... Not worth it I guess and spitting sandals out.   Cough cough .. euuugh leather taste ... splutter ...

Part of my therapy is re writing my sense of beauty and where I fit into the scheme of things. 

Sorry a bit philosophical ...

Hope you are alright.

Good NIght Long Rave friends

Its late tonight and I am trying to right my sleep disturbances...

Sleep Well

Heart

 

 

 

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone, hope today is starting peacefully.

@Exoplanet  Sending warm wishes.  Sorry to hear about the breakdown with family over finances.  Something like that happened with me and my adult child last year.  They were verbally abusing me on the phone saying they needed money urgently or they wouldn't have food the next day.  I was actually trying to pay for some groceries for them but over several phone calls that night they became progressively more abusive and kept hanging up.  I was in tears and shattered.  In the end my brother rang them and told them not to ask me for money again but to ask him if they had a genuine need.  ... a few months later they admitted to me that they did have a nest egg aside for bills and had used that and shouldn't have treated me that way that night.  I have no such savings and earn considerably less than them.  They haven't asked since.  It took a few months to find a way of communicating again but things are ok now.  Sometimes it does them good for us to say no in the long run.  Otherwise we are enabling their bad habits.  My brother gave them $100 when the new baby came (6 weeks ago) and they still haven't rung to thank him.  I'm sure I raised them to have more manners and better life skills re managing finances than they are showing at 30 years of age.  I no longer gift them $$ even for birthdays, new baby etc.  I buy gifts and at least that way I know the money is spent on what I want to give, since for years now when I did give money it was always used for something other than what was stated when they asked me.

So I understand how awful it must feel at this time for you to have to take a stand on it, but can see the need to establish boundaries about it.  So sorry for what you are going through.  As a parent we naturally want to help but if the help is abused it can't continue.  Stay strong xx

 

Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander Hi sweetie I am good thanks how are you going? How did the teeth go?

Re: A long rave

Im glad your going ok @greenpea
How did you go the other night with S2?

Im ok i guess just abit flat. Feel abit alone lately.
I have to go see the anaethetist on the 10th dec and will get alot more info. Most of my questions were answered plus more but still have a lot to talk about at the next appt. Ill find out the date of the surgury on the 10th as well which will be around jan/ feb next yr. Ive been looking for hotels and supports for pop while im away for a night and the upcoming days ao it takes stress off me while i have a few days to just breathe and recover even when im home

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