Lived Experience Forum

[Opalina]

Hello.

I have never spoken out before about my Mental health, however, I do know that I am suffering in silence.

I tried once to have a discusson with my mother, and she told me that I was being silly and that I had to much to be thankful for. 

My whole life I have felt like I need to be validated and accepted.  My father left me when I was 5 and I have no siblings.  I feel like I am not good enough .  I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. 

People around me all seem to only want to be friends with me while I can be of use to them, and once that is exhausted, they just fade away again.

I have learned to be clever at certain things because at least for a little while, I do get to feel like I am useful to someone.

I am starting to tell myself that I don't deserve friends.  I don't like myself anymore.

Please give me some advice on how to change my way of thinking, and how I can find friends that will like me for me, and not for what i can do for them.

Thank you for listening.

[JoeTheLion]

Hi @Opalina,

Welcome to the Forum and thanks for sharing your story.

Good on you for reaching out. I hope that you will find the forums to be a supportive place for exploring all these issues and that it is the start of getting further help for yourself. You dont need to suffer in silence and there are good therapies that can help you overcome the burdens of your childhood and help you change your unfair perceptions of yourself.

A good place to start with accessing professional help might be the free online webchats:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support

https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/online-services/crisis-chat

or if you are 25yo or under:

https://headspace.org.au/eheadspace/

or

https://kidshelpline.com.au/young-adults

Just a tip, if you are replying to someone or wanting to notify or touch base with someone, place an @ before their username, as in @Opalina

All the best

Joe The Lion

[Appleblossom]

Finding a fair balance in friendships seems to a be a life's effort.  SOmetimes it is where we look for freinds that can matter.  Sometimes it about being too needy.  Its great you have areas of self confidence. Build on that and try not to worry about friendships.  Friends will come and go.  Believe you are worthy.  It has been hard for me but it is important.

Welcome to the forum @Opalina

[Opalina]

@JoeTheLionthank you so much for responding.

I will take a look at the links that you sent.

I am actaully over 50, and have been 'not' dealing with my issues for all this time.  I feel it is time to try and help myself somehow.

[Opalina]

@AppleblossomI have pretty much resigned myself to the fact I am not going to find friends.  It is hard when you are not overly social to meet other people.  I am the oldest person in my workplace, and so the invites to get togethers don't come my way.  I do get that, but it still hurts a little.

Thank you for responding 🙂

[Appleblossom]

Sorry @Opalina I have been offline due to computer crash. 

Did you see the Friday feast gathering on the forum?

One of the things that has changed for me is that I am more outgoing now.  I used to be so painfully shy and overwhelmed with uncertainty about what to say and do.  I more extroverted now, but that is partly becasue I also have a lot of alone and me time.

Take Care

Apple