Thank you for your reply.
This long weekend has had it's challenges. The incident on Saturday, Sunday there was still aggression and paranoia present despite my partner's want to be close to me (kiss and hug on meeting followed by other intimate moments) but he got paranoid over the pregnancy and just completely disorganised in speech that it was difficult to hold.a conversation
Today I visited at the hospital, a nurse stepped outside the doors and starting throwing all these. Rules at me. No touching, no hugs, no leave, sit on couch in front of window near nurses station, he raises voice I will be asked to leave etc.
I think what upset me the most was the unprofessionalism in this male nurse basically patronising me about the pregnancy and the chances of my partners condition being genetic etc. Then asked if I was sure if they were his. I was defensive and shocked at the same time.
The time together was ok, we spoke, briefly touched when we could. We are very close and him being in this place without stimulus is making him worse in my opinion.
I got agitated at the site of the bathroom I was expected to use 'already used twice but by the third time, it was dirty and covered in faeces and paper everywhere) to the point i was like "you have got to be f*****g me" . I asked for extra facilities available, and was met with contempt. This Nurse was so nasty i couldn't believe it. I had to go across the road to admissions, vomiting then wetting myself. In the end an embarrassing shameful uber trip home.
I am not sure how much more visiting that place I can take.
This whole ordeal is very distressing at the moment and I feel very lost myself. I know there is strength within me somewhere, i just don't know where it is.
I apologise for the waffle on, but this weekend has been trying and not sure how I can get through the week.
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