Depression Dementia Dad

[Former-Member]

Sorry @Former-Member I was trying to help not offend.   With tech issues seeing what happens or does not happen can be helpful.  

[Former-Member]

 I know Darcy, thank you 

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member 

You are one special lady and your emotions and aching heart are palpable.  Am hearing clearly what you are feeling, the lack of appreciation, absent family, lack of communication, frustration, being taken for granted and more.

What I see between these emotions is a carers heart.  

I hope today you do have some moments of joy.

[Former-Member]

Thank you Darcy xox

Tech issue with all my threads (not others) stops me editing posts & liking yours etc

Just need to vent re dad. 

Nursing home haven't managed his oral care well (don't take out his partial dentures & clean at night or tend to the teeth behind - evident on my observation of bedtime and shower routines and how filthy his teeth are when I do it). I've raised this issue with ADOC several times. 

Now, he has pain, took him to dentist last week - the denture support teeth are decayed. Arranged Bro4 to take dad to 2nd dental apt but he doesn't want to take him for a third (he argues his other brothers should to more). So I asked the nursing jome to call Bro2 (because he's abusive with me) but he won't answer his phone, or return their calls... And then Nursing Admin informs me that now dad has been made a 'Permanent Aged Care Resident' (public guardian decision), dva no longer cover dads dental expenses.

What a crock! 

Anyway,

- dads in painpain and depressed

- the nursing home still cant reach Bro2

- bro3 says the 'lazorbeam' attacks have escallated their attacks & paralysing him this week (Sz)

-Bro3 isn't allowed to take dad out anymore ad the nursing home said he was 'intoxicated' and rough handled dad and drove irratically when he did it Tuesday 😞

- my sister + bro-1 live too far away

So

i better go cancel my own scheduled apt ;(

get ready to take dad myself

Just need to vent somewhere

Ra for listening

Deep breaths

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member

As F&H would possibly say,  true colours are showing. 

I find it difficult not to feel resentful when family are quick to criticise yet unwilling to help.

Bro 2 not even being courteous enough to answer phone ...   I am also wondering if real reason Bro 4 not willing to help is that he may not have budgeted for petrol (and is no doubt not getting paid for services rendered).

If you have not already done, you could raise concerns in writing with the public guardian (so you have email trail) about the standard of care in relation to diabetic diet and dental hygeine at the home if you feel director of care has not followed through.

[Former-Member]

Thanks Darcy,Vi email but they seem to ignore my concerns. Probably because I wanted him back home and they rejected my accommodation proposal. My sis told them she has 'concerns' - primarily that I'll have another breakdown. Of cause I've had two 'breakdowns' 25yrs apart 😕  bitch! And with bro2's lout  backup - of cause they have to go on the side of caution. To bevhonest, with all their toxicity I have quietly COME close to suicide. BUTBUTBUTBUT. still here.

Cranky though, dads dental X-RausX-Rays show x4 infected abcessed  teeth 😞  and ALL had to be extracted today 😞

I've written a formal complaint and cc to Public GuardianGuardian & all my siblings & had words with the nurses today. It all so wrong. I think its all so bad for my health to be around such disease and contempt of my value to dad. But how do I just walj away. Think I need to. I just wanna hurt somebody. Poor dad 😞

[Former-Member]

I see you in the background there 🙂

[outlander]

missing you already Lapses/Tawny

[Determined]

Lapses

Thinking of you. 

[Former-Member]

Lapses,

I do hope you and Georgia are OK. Thinking of you.