Lived Experience Forum

[Appleblossom]

ha ha .. @eudemonism

What kind of boats .. prawns??

[eudemonism]

@Appleblossom 

Pilchards and tuna. Was gonna be prawns until I fell ill. 

[Appleblossom]

Tuna are the big fish  ??  Yay

Only went fishing with my little brother in Port Phillip Bay .. lol ... catfish .. lol

[eudemonism]

@Appleblossom

Yea it was really good. I was young, fit and healthy and I really enjoyed working. I was in shape, I slept well and I would look forward to going to work. 

Unfortunately it all became to hard to maintain. I basically had meltdown and walked off of every job I ever had. I mourn the wonderful opportunities I missed out on In my younger life. 

Eude 

[eudemonism]

@Former-Member

What's happening today? 

Eude 

[eudemonism]

@Sophia1 

Hi, I hope you have a good morning and a good day... 

I've just summed my mental problems up in a simple philosophy... 'thinking about the wrong people have done to me' basically carrying every little bit of disrespect people have ever done to me and trying to deal with it. Trying to process it. Trying to move on from it. 

You've got the incident which has shocked or traumatised me. And the thinking cycle that comes with that. A cycle of emotions. And myself trying to come up with a solution. 

Then you've got. The cycle of imagining and wishing it never happened. Blocking it out. Trying to ignore the incident. Trying to move on. 

And then constantly jumping too and from each cycle... 

When really... The way forward... From what I've worked out... And learning from it... Just accepting things and people for who they are and trying not to fuel the fire... 

However, since and trauma... (disrespect) no matter what the cause... Lasts for a very long time... And is very hard to deal with... And is basically in the midst of any relationship... 

Plus, I feel we're all programed for acceptance and inclusion... 

Eude 

[Sophia1]

good morning @eudemonism

Your response shows me that you have thought through your circumstances even further....

your continuing to do this and verbalise on here is starting to take a shift in your thinking...

To me you are viewing the overall experience of your trauma .....the health system..neighbours from a further perspective..

working through your patterned thinking...

Yes I agree with you re the way to look forward...making an effort to live with what has happened in the past...(not dismissing it though)...acknowledging your emotions and thinking patterns...allowing yourself to feel those days where your mood is lower...then re-energising ..living with focus on each day..

learning to be nice to yourself when you are having a time of struggle...you are human...people without unwell minds have bad days also... acknowledging the feelings that you have and letting them be there...settle...will become easier..

Accepting people for who they are...at the same time not allowing them to push past your personal space...or disrespect you or your home....living alongside them when needing too...

Trying not to add fuel to the fire...made me smile....

biting my tongue I refer to it as...so very hard with some people ...we had an unplanned visit from extended family...husband's sister and brotherinlaw yesterday...always very testing....they both know everything and talk non-stop over each other...he is very much a man who pushes my personal space....I have to move back ...look away several times..my tolerance level is far lower when I am in pain...their awareness and care factor remains very self-centred .....I tolerate them as they are related to my husband...I do look after my personal space at all times when in their company...

hopefully I don't have to see them for another 6 months at least...

The trauma is with us ....as is our experience....after we have worked through and acknowledged our feelings ...reactions to the trauma...there is a chance for us to have a quality of life...with the trauma being a part of our life experience only...not an impediment to our life moving forward...as we learn to live with it...this is grief...yes it does take time...there is no measure of time either...as each experience is different for each individual...

lovely to read about you and @Appleblossom joking around yesterday....

How are you today @Appleblossom?

take care Eude

[Appleblossom]

Hey @Sophia1 I am going off in a minute to do messages.

@eudemonism I knew people working on those boats years ago. They were physically very demanding, so it was probably not just you that had melt downs about it.

Take Care

[eudemonism]

@Sophia1 

Everything that is going on in my mind is becoming ever so complicated and confusing. It is all very demanding and overwhelming. When I step back and notice the patterned thinking, the thinking cycles and the thinking processes. It becomes a very overwhelming ordeal. Although it's all very clear to me, not much can really be done to help. 

I did a quick research about prejudice and resentment. It was rather interesting. 

I've been carrying alot of resentment around for such a long time... 

Eude 

[eudemonism]

@Sophia1 

I been tripping out for the last 4-5 hours. Thoughts have been racing. I been getting up and down. I been pacing around. 

I been thinking about resentment... And repentance... And rebuking, reprising, reporting and praising and preaching and praying... All very significant words... Even reproach, reprove, reuse, renounce, ready just mucking around really...

Eude