Just a few observations @Littletink_ from someone who has the bp2 and has progressed a fair bit since leaving hospital four years ago. We had classes there and learned some useful stuff. One was that the brain would need rewiring after the catastrophic events. The quickest way to do that is to do things which bring you joy. Does your partner have any hobbies from before which would still interest her? Do you guys have a pet? Animals are great for recovery. Also, could you discuss her putting studying on hold until she gets to a stage where she can cope better? This is not a time to stress - it's a time to take joy in doing one thing each day, doing something different, doing anything; it's the equivalent of convalescing from a physical illness.
We also learnt that partners can mirror the sick one's symptoms. My carer was at breaking point when things all went wrong one day I was in Hosp. He did and still does an incredible amount for me. Cooking for instance. I just can't do it. It's not a question of motivation. My mind just goes blank. I am gradually getting back to it by preparing really simple things. My partner does a full day at work and then comes home and cooks for me. He celebrates any little achievements I make.
The message I came home with was; Don't beat yourself up, don't let others beat you up, and don't be diddled out of a full life. I think that is totally relevant to carers as well.
As for the fil. well. I have told very few people about my bp2 diagnosis. Folk are starting to understand depression - or at least accept it - but very little is generally know about bp1 or 2. It seems to me that pop is in denial and would come into the category of beating his daughter up (mentally). So not a good connection to have right now. If your partner can't lay down ground rules with him, I wonder if it would be possible for you to do it? Something like he can talk to his daughter about anything except her mental state and health?
Also concerned that your partner has no friends. This is another area where a pet can substitute for now. Later she might meet people at an activity which interests her. Your partner is so lucky to have you. If you can, take some time for you now and then to avoid getting burnt out. My partner sails and goes walking with other people and comes back greatly refreshed. Hang on in there. Give yourself a big pat on the back. You are carrying out one of the most challenging relationship roles.
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