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18-02-2019 04:13 PM
18-02-2019 04:13 PM
Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)
Hi @Former-Member Yes it was a good win by the Renegades. I honestly thought the Stars had it in the bag but the wickets fell so quickly - my sister's partner's nephew would be very happy with the win. He is a lovely kid - their whole family is really lovely so I am really pleased for him.
I kniw you have your GP appointment this afternoon and I am very much hoping that it isn't as stressful as you have been expecting it to be. We do tend to think the worst and our minds go to the worst possible scenario when such appointments are made for us. My thoughts have been with you all day Hon - knowing how much stress you have been under and the difficult discussions you may be having with your GP. I really hope that you come out of it feeling a bit more at ease but if you don't then we are here for you sweet @Former-Member . Let us know how it went when you are able to Hon. Lots of love and huge hugs coming your way as always
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18-02-2019 11:37 PM
18-02-2019 11:37 PM
Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)
My GP appointment this afternoon wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. I felt that when I asked him back in December for a sedative to use prior to the procedure in January, that he dismissed my concerns somewhat. But today he was very nice and seemed quite understanding. Clearly he has listened to my psychologist, which is quite reassuring.
I cried ... damn it ... and couldn't stop shaking for the whole appointment. Odd isn't it ... there was a time that I never showed any emotion, over anything. These days I can't seem to stop it. And one thing which definitely brings on tears .. is when people are nice to me. Pretty silly aye? I still had tears rolling down my face when I came out. Not only annoying, but embarrassing as well.
Anyway my GP said my psych had written to him and was concerned that the attempted pap smear and the scheduled second attempt, was causing trauma flares and hyper arousal symptoms. He said the last thing they would want is to re-traumatise me further by trying again. He said I did the right thing by cancelling last Fridays appointment at the hospital. He acknowledged it is a triggering month for me being anniversary time coming up. And he is also aware that with hubby being so unwell and some important appointments coming up, I cannot afford to be unwell due to PTSD symptoms worsening.
He spoke to me about the pros/cons and risks/benefits of having the test as opposed to not having the test. As he explained, although they advise having it done and strongly recommend it ... it actually isn't compulsory. He stated that given I have only ever been in a monogamous relationship and I'm a non-smoker I'm considered low risk. He said it was definitely an option to elect not to have the test. Unless I was concerned by anything, in which case he would strongly urge me to have it. I told him that, for peace of mind, I felt I needed to have the test done.
To which he said I had two options:
- He would prescribe a fairly heavy sedative to use prior to any cervical screening test appointment
- He could arrange for me to use a self-collect cervical screening test kit
It turns out I fit the criteria for using a self collect screening test. Now why didn't someone tell me this before? It isn't as accurate as a standard test, and it only performs one part of the usual 2-part test done by a practitioner, but it is still meant to be reasonably accurate.
Naturally I opted for the self-collect test. He suggested I do it as soon as I left his office, as that way I won't have to continually think about it and there would be less chance of trying to avoid it later. Umm yeah, good point.
So he phoned a nearby pathology place to get a kit organised and gave me the necessary referral which had to state the reasons for needing a self-collect kit. He said I'd need to go to the pathology place to collect said kit and obtain the samples needed on their premises. When I got there they told me the regulations were very strict and that self-collect tests needed to be performed within the doctor's premises. So I had to return to my GPs and perform the test in their bathroom and then hand it to the practice nurse for sending away for testing. Don't ask me why it has to be such a rigmarole! Nothing is ever easy it seems. I guess they make it as difficult as possible because they discourage the self-collect method and it's considered a last resort option. My GP had never organised one before, so it was all new to him too.
But hey .... the good news is that it's all done! Such a relief. Now I just have to wait and hope the test comes back clear. If it is all okay, it's another 5 years before it needs to be done again. If any issues ... my GP warned me that a traditional test would likely need to be done and/or a referral to a gynaecologist. I'm hoping its okay .. but I'm also a little worried.
Unfortunately he wants me to increase my AD medication because I haven't been coping so well lately. I had to agree with him about that. I also needed a new script for the medication I take for PTSD related nightmares, as I was almost out of those. They are the ones I only take as needed, usually around this time of year.
I'm hoping I may finally get a bit of sleep tonight. Although I'm also realistic that after having been badly triggered several times over the past month, and with anniversary date still approaching, I'm not just suddenly going to be okay. Its going to take time, and patience with self, and a load of self care as well. But I am confident now that I will get through. I am very grateful to have the standard of professional care that I do, from both my GP and my psychologist. For a small town, we are extremely fortunate to have the level of services that we do.
Thanks everyone for taking an interest and for your continued support ... @Zoe7 @outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Peri @Starta @BlueBay @Former-Member @Sam3
Sherry 🌺🤗💕
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19-02-2019 05:37 AM
19-02-2019 05:37 AM
Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)
Morning @Former-Member
That is such great news thst you were able to do the self collect test. Never heard of it before. I can only imagine the stress for you having to have the Pap smear again. Let’s hope that the test comes back good and you won’t have to worry fir another five years.
Take care Sherry ❤️
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19-02-2019 06:52 AM
19-02-2019 06:52 AM
Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)
Sounds like very good news to me @Former-Member, and I have everything crossed that it turns out clear ..... ❤️
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19-02-2019 04:21 PM
19-02-2019 04:21 PM
Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)
Hi everyone
@Zoe7 @outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Peri @Starta @BlueBay @Mumi @Sam3
I cannot be here right now ... I dont trust myself not to hurt others or say the wrong thing. I'm sorry ... I guess I'm just a terrible person, or someone who isnt thinking rationally. Please know I very much appreciate you all, and I hope I can get through this difficult period in my life right now and come back when I'm no longer a danger to myself or anyone else.
Sherry
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19-02-2019 04:23 PM
19-02-2019 04:23 PM
Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)
Please take @Former-Member
I totally understand
Please know that I and others are here for you. Be gentle on yourself.
I am thinking of you and pray you will be okay.
BB xxxooo
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19-02-2019 04:54 PM
19-02-2019 04:54 PM
Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)
@Former-Member It is such great news that the test is done now and that you got through it with such wonderful support from your GP and that he understands what you have been going through. The psych report certainly must have helped with that also.
It is not so gret news that you can't be here right now but I do understand. It is important that you know we are here for you Hon and very much understanding just how triggering this time is for you with the upcoming anniversary. Do whatever it is you need to do to look after you - we are here when you are ready to come back and very much supporting you when you need it. Sending you so much love at this time and will definitely be thinking of you. Hugs and hugs @Former-Member
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19-02-2019 05:15 PM
19-02-2019 05:15 PM
Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)
Dear@sherry,
you take the time you need to rest. You are not a terrible person at all , in fact you can see how valued you are here.
Peri
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19-02-2019 08:57 PM
19-02-2019 08:57 PM
Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)
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21-02-2019 09:59 PM
21-02-2019 09:59 PM
Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)
Hello @Former-Member,
There is no way that your a terrible person, your very supportive, gentle, kind and very compassionate, please don’t put yourself down....
Thinking of you today Sherry, and I’m hoping you are feeling a little better....
always here for you dear friend...
Kind thoughts and warm hugs and love..💜🤗..
Grandy..