Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

This has been my mindset ever since I got diagnosed. Does anyone else ever go through the same "why me" and not accepting your illness. How do you cope with it?

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member
I'm not sure that I have exactly been not accepting of mi but perhaps have had some difficulty with the labels. Particularly where some of the mh team i've worked with have disagreed with each other. I probably discounted for a long time the impact of mi and events on my life, and just attributed a lot of self blame to the things going on for me. when i did accept some of the MI stuff it did help for me to be able to feel a bit of relief that it wasnt 'just me'... if that makes any sense? That there was a commonality i had with other people who had the same thing and that it wasnt necessarily all my fault.
Hope you're ok @Former-Member

[frog]

Hi @Former-Member I had trouble accepting my diagnosis for about a year. I was resentful because I had been misdiagnosed for 30 years and I didn't now what to believe. Then I gradually came to see it as a way of making some sense of my experiences and struggles. I think @Former-Member said it really well. As for 'why me?' that feeling comes and goes. MI is a hard row to hoe, there's no way round it. I am reading a book called Radical Acceptance, which makes a lot of sense. Putting it into practice is an ongoing process. Take care.

[Queenie]

Hi @Former-Member, I went through a period of time when I thought "why me". It wasn't so much about not accepting my illness, rather mourning and grieving for things I had lost. I lost an opportunity to excel in a career I loved, being a home owner, starting a family, having lifelong friends and good relationship with my family. Now things are rather fractured on the financial side of things and with relationships outside of my Mrs and I. I've discovered a few things about myself along the way, so I am thankful for that. But sometimes I look towards people I used to consider my peers, they are successful in their careers, they are all home owners and they all have families of their own. Mental illness sometimes can be a bitter pill to swallow. 

[Neelix]

Hi @Former-Member. I've not thought 'why me' but I do struggle to accept my diagnosis. My culture has no word for mental illness. The last 10 years they made a word but it doesn't mean mental illness. The 2 words mean ...seeking well being of the mind. Not sure if I've the translation right as most words in my culture can't be translated to english , they come with long explanations and connect with a custom.
I believe my 'not accepting' comes from literature, stereo typing and diagnosis and treatment from MH team. I'm not blaming them. I just don't believe it.

Yes! I am chaotic, have mood swings, insomnia, hear voices, eating disorder, agrophobia...probably missed a few things. But to me? its not bad or negative...unless? (and that has variables I think) and that friggin word 'illness' annoys me. *hands up* just saying is all...

I may sound simple but ...if I dont hurt others physically or emotionally with intent...I am ok. Well? I mean , I hurt myself but the point is if I dont hurt others. It has two sides that comment or maybe even 3 sides...or maybe I'm being narrow...anyhow thats one way I see it.

I use to be a Community Development worker, the industry got mainstreamed over a period of time and we started getting called 'Social workers'. Originally a CD worker was a person who worked with a community or a group of people on their issue. It was an 'empowerment' role ideal. It is obsolete now. We are 'social workers'. The term for CD work is about infrastructure in a community now...how boring. Ummm...my point is, it is how we 'determine' it. To 'determine' how we are and who we are.

Sane forums help us; as one contributor put it ...I can't remember their name...ooops. It gives us clarity. I am hopeful it will do that for me.

Naming my illness does slot me in a box or a group. I dont like it. I dont want it lol I'm sure I will come up with another name...haha (thats me being defiant)

I have a point to what I'm saying. I cant always pinpoint sometimes. I just waffle and hope it makes sense. Soz if I'm off track.

Hope your doing ok

[frog]

Hi @Queenie I feel that sense of grief about what's lost too, particularly around work and relationships. It's hard not to compare with peers. Sometimes I want to explain to them what the deal is with me but I'm frightened to and doubt they'd understand. You do sound like you've come a way with letting the 'why me' go. It varies for me. 

[utopia]

@Former-Member
I have always accepted and acknowledged my diagnosis. Major Depression. It's a bit hard to not agree - when my depression takes me down some dark paths.
But yes, sometimes I do still ask "why me" or even say "cure me". This is when I'm being sucked into my depression vortex that I say this. When I'm starting to lift out of a depression, I'm more accepting of the fact that it's just how it is.
None of us deserve MI, so I think it's fair enough to sometimes say "it's not fair" - so long as we don't dwell in that place

[Former-Member]

Have had a few days of accepting my illness. I guess that is because I've achieved some goals and I also posted something on Instagram about my psychosis/didn't lose followers and got lots of supportive comments. It helps.