Lived Experience Forum

[RASH]

Hello,

new member here. I am feeling lost in life.

I have always suffered with social anxiety and depression but lately there have been questions around ADHD and or Autism.

I don’t know how to find a psychiatrist I can actually trust to give a proper and reliable diagnosis. 
I suffered a mental breakdown in 2013 after a very, very bad break-up that left me destroyed.

Something really snapped in my brain around that time and I have never felt the same since.

From that time I have been on innumerable SSRI meds and all have the side effect of zero libido which is just crap and just adds to the depression.

I have visited multiple psychologists that I don’t feel do anything I need, I don’t just want a chat once a week. I want to really figure stuff out!

I have also seen two psychiatrists in this time the first diagnosed bipolar type 2, viewing the mental breakdown as my manic episode.

This seemed odd to me as doesn’t everyone do slightly out of character stuff after hideous unforeseen relationship breakdowns?

I have never been hospitalised.

Anyway I was recently re-diagnosed with severe depression and ADD ( I don’t have the hyperactivity).

I want to just know what is really wrong with me and to know that I am actually getting the correct treatment and medications! Over 8 years of the wrong meds is long enough!

How can I find a very very very good psychiatrist???

I am just told to find someone online by GP’s and then they will do a referral. I want recommendations and advice from them as I have no idea what I am looking for and I want to get someone I can trust as I am putting my trust/life in their hands!!!!!

I have NEVER had any motivation in my life and just seem to bumble along, it’s not what I want. I have huge doubt in myself and lack confidence desperately. I’m a definite introvert and self sabotage, I talk myself out of everything I start and rarely finish anything.

I have been a loner all my life and even now I have some of my own friends, I still get overwhelmed catching up and taking phone calls a lot of the time.

I give myself anxiety by leaving everything to the last minute and am always always late.

I know I am now rambling but this is how my brain works. I am full of rage, pent up anger, irritability and have always taken this out of my partners and family (always verbally and emotionally, NEVER physically).

As I said at the start of this VERY long post.

I am lost and don’t know where to begin. I don’t know how to communicate with people I know and just want to brush things under the carpet as I feel too vulnerable.

I would definitely consider going in to hospital so that I can receive care but am not suicidal, I just really need help. 

[Historylover]

@RASH So very sorry to hear things aren't going too well for you. It's a path we'd all rather not be treading. I have no words of wisdom for you, my friend. I hope you're doing alright these several hours since your post. Sometimes we are all so caught up in our own dilemmas that some take a while to respond. I hope some will do so soon. It's amazing what just knowing we are being heard can do for our wellbeing. Take care.

[wellwellwellnez]

I kind of prefer you're GP's approach. Sometimes they just refer you to the first person they can think of. It can be hard, especially when in the midst of depression.

There's lots a web-sites. I can't even remember the one I found my current practitioner on. I think they changed the layout or something. I would recommend scrolling through and maybe adding a few search refinements. Maybe let your objective be to just see what's out there and how you feel. You might do better without forcing the answer. It's an important question but you're more important.

Patients and psychs are all people so, it's okay to go for a people-based approach. Rather than trying to find the best clinician, try to find the best fit. No-one can cure us in any sort of a hurry, the right choice is someone who makes you feel a little bit okay right now. When you feel good about about the journey, you're basically almost there (weird math, but sound math).

In summary, be kind to yourself, in the process of seeking kindness.

[Campbarry]

You can't really know without meeting them, and it's so hard to get in to see a psychiatrist; but what youre GP is saying is actually good advice even though it seems overwhelming, look for psychiatrists in your area and then find their bios, look specifically for one that has special interest/specialty in what you are looking for -- the more special interests they have listed the less likely they are to actually have a good grasp on one thing so watch out for that. If they have maybe done research into the specific disorder that's even better.
As for ASD - psychiatrists tend not to offer assessments, the best online resource to find where you can get assessed (for Australia) is AMAZE. Best of luck.