Lived Experience Forum

[AnxiousMe]

@outlander A few months ago I quit smoking after 10 year habbit so that would have been a shock to my system a couple of weeks after my anxiety and OCD reared its ugly head intrusive thoughts about hurting my son that stopped but turned to scared i was going to lose my mind and turn delusional with schizophrenia which now is kinda ironic if you think about it scared i would lose my mind my brains reaction it to disconnect for emotions lol 

[outlander]

smoking i can imagine would be really hard to quit @AnxiousMe
so have you been diagnosed with schizophrenia? i think that is a lifetime condition as well so should be taken into consideration when going onto medications.
i dont have that myself but i know others here do so am happy to tag them here if you need to talk about that as well.

can i ask if you have supports for your anxiety, like someone you can talk to- psychologist, support worker, family, friends?

[AnxiousMe]

@outlander

It was hard but i had my son to thank i wanted to quit for him which made it easier 

Nah don’t have schizophrenia i spoke to the phyc about it a couple of weeks ago just one of those irrational fears my ocd/anxiety made up she told me if i was scared i was delusional then i wasn’t delusional because a person with delusions wouldn’t be scared of it as they think its fact and wouldn’t seek help which is fair enough lol 

[outlander]

ah i see @AnxiousMe well thankgod that parts over now huh. it mustve been really scary for you. im also glad you have your psychs support as well.

[Hope4me]

Hi @AnxiousMe

I've read through your discussion and thought it might be helpful if you considered your AD isn't right for the anxiety. They didn't work for mine. I had to 'include' an anti anxiety medication as well to address bad sleeping patterns and severe panic attacks.

I'm not sure how destructive the OCD is in your case, but it's sometimes treated with a specific Anit Depressant in large doses. Maybe if you ask your GP for a referral to a psychiatrist for a medication review, you can get another opinion about your situation. Just my thoughts.

[AnxiousMe]

@Hope4me it wasn’t bad 24/7 it comes and goes in waves and severity depending on the nature of my intrusive thoughts after i quit smoking my anxiety and thoughts got too much but I don’t like this disconnected feeling i have like in not in touch with my emotions like im here but in not sort of feeling which im not sure if its the medication or apart of my “fight or flight” response but I don’t like it One bit 

[Hope4me]

Hi @AnxiousMe

The way I see it, you're disconnected from your body when you're flighty. Mindfullness grounds you which means life seems more clear and conscious. 'Thinking' all the time trying to fix how you feel, or on your laptop looking for clues, means physical life's passing you by.

Getting your hands in the dirt for instance brings your brain/body back into physical reality and out of your head. Focusing on housework (auto pilot 🙂 ) will also clear your mind. It's a huge relief, if not only for a few moments, but at least you'll understand the difference and that it works. I used to have those disconnected feelings all the time, but trained myself to catch it when it happened because it happens without even thinking.

Giving up smoking isn't just about brain chem's, it's about self medicating to avoid certain feelings. If those feelings emerge without cig's to rely on, (unconsciously) our brain tries other ways of avoidance. This leads to dissociating; that's the weird feeling of not being present.

You could be triggered by anything that puts pressure on you. Eg; not eating in the mornings, (hyperglycemia) imagining pictures in your mind different to what's happening at that time, (the brain can't do multiple things when it's damaged) unpleasant movies/books/music or anything that reminds you of unpleasantness. Healing your brain takes time, so resting it by doing mindless physical tasks will benefit you greatly in the long term.

You're a combination physical/emotional/mental/spiritual being, so your brain has a lot to deal with. Simplifying your life makes things so much easier. You need to retrain your brain so it works effectively again.

Mindfullness is anything that gets you back to physical reality. It's really important. There's loads of info on it to be found online, in books or on this site.

Hope this helps 

[AnxiousMe]

@Hope4me It does help for some reason It scares me when i know its more of a symptom than a illness in itself 

i know life passes me by because i am constantly on my phone looking up symptoms of stuff when i should be spending time with my son and because im obsessive im always finding ways to scare myself into thinking im something im not haha i have a appointment tomorrow with my phyc see what she says 

[Hope4me]

Hi again @AnxiousMe

Sorry about the big rant yesterday; was on 'preaching' mode. lol

The anti anxiety med's I spoke of may also help slow your mind down so you can focus on what's important to find balance. I do understand that pressure you feel wanting to get well again as I also spent most of my time either putting up with symptoms or looking for answers. My poor journal took a beating I can assure you.

The point I was trying to make, is that your brain's sick. Healing it takes lots of time, patience and guts. Finding the right med's to cope can be very frustrating and time consuming, so these qualities will come in handy.

I hope the visit with your psych goes well today.

My best...Hope x 

[AnxiousMe]

@Hope4me that’s perfectly fine my doctor and psyc were both good  they aren’t worried about my symptom of feeling a slight disconnect my doctor said it is most likely abit of both, being in fight or flight mode for so long then taking the antidepressant told me to give it atleat another 2-4 weeks i have only been on it for about 30 days.I see some light at the end of the tunnel i just need to get off google lol makes it so much worse