Lived Experience Forum

[altravocap]

I have a great psychologist and a great GP. But even with both, I'm finding there's still a gap.

I've been told I have BPD traits, but not enough to be diagnostically BPD. Which I think is probably true. I tick 3-4 of the DSM boxes. But my traits are some of the more harmful ones. Self harm, addiction, chronic emptiness and impulsiveness.

I really feel like I need a trusted psychiatrist in the mix, because I'm never sure if my meds are harming or helping. But apart from one incredible psychiatrist I saw for many years as an adolescent, my experience with psychiatrists has been terrible.

I had one prescribe me a month's worth of a medication commonly used to assist with alcohol wihtdrawal after one session where I told him I was having suicidal ideation and drinking every night. He said take that medication instead of drinking at night. I didn't fill the prescription, but a month's worth of that and alcohol, I would've hoped a professional could've seen the potential issues there.

I had another who said I was BPD after 15 minutes into our first session. He kept interrogating me, including asking about my girlfriends (I'd already mentioned my husband and am clearly gay) and telling me I was histrionic (when I was actually just rambling because he intimidated me so much).

I do have a referral to an AOD psychiatrist I had one session with last year who was good, so I'm hopeful that that will help.

But does anyone else struggle getting the right team together? I feel like I'm a lot of work for one single health practitioner.

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @altravocap ,

Thank you for your post.

I have BPD. I ticked every box. I was in the public mental health system and had an entire care team - case manager, psychologist, psychologist, social worker, psychosocial worker and GP etc. It made a HUGE difference to my care. Each member collaborated with the other so I had holistic care.

I no longer have that care team because I've recovered enough to be discharged. But when I was acutely unwell, I thank God for them!

Due to the current climate, I think even find one specialist is challenging!

In your situation, do you think you'd benefit from a psychologist rather than just a psychiatrist?

I know you mentioned you may not have BPD, but do you think speaking to a psychologist will support you in managing your emotions/behaviour in a more helpful way?

I don't know your exact situation, but probably just something to think about.

BPDSurvivor 

[altravocap]

Hey @BPDSurvivor , thanks for the reply. I actually have a great psychologist, although he recently went on leave and I sent a series of emails to him that I'm worried will put him off talking to me in future. But we'll see when he's back in a few weeks.

I've built a very close relationship with my psychologist, and my worry is it's too close. I see him as a friend, and I email him with random thoughts.

I kind of want a psychiatrist I trust to firstly review my medication, but secondly tell me where the boundaries are before I accidentally push things too far with my psychologist.

Objectively I know my psychologist will return from leave and tell me what was inappropriate and continue treating me, but a huge part of me thinks that no matter how much he understands what I'm going through, he'll decide it's too hard and discontinue my treatment.

[chibam]

Hi @altravocap .

I had a terrible run in treatment myself, between a bad psychiatrist and an even worse psychologist. I can relate to much of what you relate, such as the therapists apparently not really caring, rushing to half-assed diagnonsises & treatment plans, and ignoring (pretty much willfully) key facts about me & my life.

I was never able to get the help I needed.

For me, the single biggest issue was "the golden rule of therapy". I didn't even know it was a thing during my treatment. It was only by chance that I learned about it a couple years after the fact; there had never been any warning about it during my treatment.

If you aren't familiar, "the golden rule of therapy" is basically that therapists aren't aloud to give patients practical assistance for their real-life problems, or even give them meaningful advice on how to fix them. For someone, like myself, who is depressed/suicidal/ect. because of their real-life problems, that rule makes therapy absolutely useless. Yet is still marketed to the unwary as: "Help is available if you need it!"

There's been a lot of talk recently about delivering help for peoples' "psycho-social problems". I think that that means giving people real, meaningful help for their real-life problems - but it's hard to cut through the jargon and be certain about what it actually means.

With a bit of luck, we may see the introduction of a brand new type of therapist into the mental health system soon - one that actually does their best to fix peoples' major real-life problems.

[Owen45]

Yes, 18 months of lockdowns has really challenged my mental health issues and road to recovery.  But determined to keep on track.

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @altravocap ,

Because my psychologist has been with me for so long, even when it comes to meds, I still ask for his advice. He's NOT a psychiatrist nor a GP, but I value his input in my general care and hence I discuss my hesitations about my meds etc.

Another thing, I know BPD recovery is not reliant on meds. Hence my aim/goal is to be psychologically strong enough to not need meds.

As I've become stronger and practised more strategies and coping mechanisms, I've needed less and less meds. I've halved most of my doses. However, I am taking it mighty slowly so as not to upset the equilibrium.

For me, the more I practised and utilised strats, the less I needed if my meds.

This is my experience as a borderline, and by no means medical advice for anyone.

@altravocap , I'm just thinking... all the concerns about your meds you've written here, can you chat to your psychologist too seeing you know him so well?

Another thing. For me, I'm wary of getting too close to any therapist.  I think boundaries are important, particularly as I've had attachment issues in the past.

BPDSurvivor