IM OVER EVERYTHING.
My needs and feelings never matter I'm over being the one everyone expects to fix shit without consideration of how I'm doing of the toll it takes on me mentally and physically. I'm currently in the wrong because I said no to icecream for dinner to our son and didn't grab my partner an ice coffee at the shops because they didn't have the one he likes and his substitute choice was nearly double the price compared to where we normally go.
If I can't lend money I'm selfish, if I can't fix a situation I'm inconsiderate and/or useless.
When I had another miscarriage a few weeks back 3 people literally told me to get over it as I didn't even know I was pregnant till I had the miscarriage. I've been trying to have another child for the better part of 8 years but this is my 9th miscarriage.
When we moved to a rural town for my husbands work leaving all of my support systems because it was only going to be temporary and now my husband has been looking at property to buy excited that he's doing so well out here and our son is also thriving so apparently I just have to forget about what's good for me and think about what's best for my family even though I don't have a single friend out here all of my siblings whom I am very close with are all more than 6 hours away by car and I have to wait till my partner is able to drive as my mental health stops me from getting a licence without a signed drs letter. Which will never happen.
I can't even talk to the people I wish I could talk to it about because they constantly put me down or accuse me of attention seeking. I'm over having to pretend I'm fine just so I don't upset those around me. I've literally come so close to passing out or completely losing it these past couple of days especially as I have had to put up my mental wall to stop myself switching as I've been doing it alot because of stress and I've felt myself slipping further and further into my mind and last time I did that I didn't come back out for months but that was before my son.
But the stress has been overwhelming between home, dealing with leaving the house, my anxiety, CPTSD, DID, depression and family drama that has nothing to do with me but somehow is my problem, financial issues and my physical health I'm not going to be able to keep myself going. I'm heading to a dark place fast but no one notices or cares
Emergency, police & ambulance (24 Hrs)
Connect with a lifeline crisis supporter (24 Hrs)
Suicide callback service (24 Hrs)
Kids helpline (24 Hrs)
13 YARN