Lived Experience Forum

[Chamomile]

This sounds like a scary place to be in @Teej. I'm sending you a check in email. In the mean time, perhaps read back over the lovely messages that you have recieved. There is a lot of care for you here.

[outlander]

@Teej
Im not going to invalidate how you feel because they are definently valid and real but i dont think your self centred, selfish, burdening anyone. In the time i have come to know you all i can see is someone kind caring and compassionate but someone that has more than there share of shit being thrown at them.
Please dont give up, live for yourself too. Fnd the things you like/want to do for your life even if it feels impossible to think that way atm.

Can you stay here with me and we can just take it 5 minutes at a time to help keep you safe?

[CheerBear]

@Teej not lots of words but lots of love being sent to you from here too.

With you Teej ❤

[Teej]

@Sans911 Are you still around? I don’t want to trigger you but I need an open conversation about suicide. It’s ok if you can’t. 

[Sans911]

I'm still here @Teej

[Teej]

I just saw you saying goodnight. It’s ok @Sans911 if you are fading. I don’t want to wake you up. I’ll be ok. 

[Sans911]

It's ok @Teej. I'm here for you. I can stay awake for a bit longer. Its important for you.

[Teej]

What keeps you here @Sans911 for you? Do you have hope that life will get better? 

[Teej]

You know I have everything. I have happy healthy successful kids and family and friends and a roof over my head but I can’t make that enough. I so much dont want to be this person but I seem incapable of change. I want to feel what it’s like to get something right or good enough. I want to not be in fear of everything all the time. 

You want to know my crazy. I fear when I’m liked and I fear when I’m not liked. There is no win. I don’t cope with either so I get close then run all the time. I work so hard not to be the burden but it doesn’t make me independent at all. I’m so sorry it’s coming out here. 

[Teej]

@Faith-and-Hope What happened to the teej you met and became friends with. She’s gone. I don’t know how to get her back. I’m so scared.