Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Elke]

@CheerBear - i totally understand where you're coming from.   It can be even harder when you are thrown in with a bunch of people who do not share your views or values around parenting, and obviously mother's groups are not often able to be the that for everyone.  Its so great that you were able to find someone who could meet you where you were are at and whose values aligned with yours.  This is such a lovely thing to have when you are in the early stages of parenthood.  I'm wondering if the social judgement and isolation impacted upon your emotional wellbeing at all?  What were the main things that you noticed that told you things weren't right?

[dani2]

yes self care does require practice. I used to love running, so I'd like to get back into that. I have just started going back to pilates at least when Mum minds the boys. for self care i also negotiated with my partner at least 1 day on the weekend i could go out by myself for an hour or two. I go to my fav cafe a read a book! or go shopping lol

[s-jay]

Interesting to hear people's experiences of playgroups and how they negotiated relationships.

Yes self-care is so key and different for everyone! Lots of different tools available these days - apps etc, that can really help!

[Elke]

@dani2 - that is so great. I was a runner too! It can be tricky to get back into it initially. What you have set up for yourself sounds wonderful. I notice that its often the simple stuff that can reconnect us with ourselves. Can i ask have you noticed any positive change since you began taking this time for yourself?

[CheerBear]

I can really relate to those questions @dani2 of wondering where the 'judged' feelings are really coming from! Maybe it was a combination of all of those that you mentioned, im not sure.

Like you, I had similar kinds of ideas of that perfect parent stuff too that went out the window and I also lost friends who didn't have children. There can be so much to manage and work through!

[s-jay]

Just wanted to also jump in and say hi to all those reading along - feel free to jump in any time, no pressure though!. Safe space here, no judgement ! 🙂

[dani2]

Elke, can definitely feel that I have a bit more room to cope. not operating at 100% 24/7 and have a bit more resilience to bounce back and deal with everything that comes a long. I look forward to it every week.

[dani2]

thanks cheerbear its good to know Im not alone

[CheerBear]

I think that isolation in general, along with the changes in myself and my relationship with my partner, as well as the experiences and feelings of judgement, did impact on my emotional wellbeing @Elke. I lost some confidence and become pretty full of self-doubt at times. It's hard to really pinpoint what I noticed wasn't right initially but I think when I started to isolate myself even further than I was already and bottle things up, I began to sense things weren't great.

[CheerBear]

I think something fabulous about the forum @dani2 is the feeling and knowledge that we're not alone with our experiences. Being here has really highlighted that to me and helped me a lot 🙂.