Lived Experience Forum

[Jessie21]

Hi everyone I am back after 2 years.  I am not feeling great at the moment.  I have complex mental health issues PTSD, anxiety and depression.  Due to recent loss of my closest friend due to alzheimers disease and throat cancer which was very sad.  I also have  of health problems  due to my long term mental health, IBS and Urticaria.   I have also know discovered I need a total knee replacement which know limits my mobility to a degree.  I am having knee surgery in May this year.   I have needed to put boundaries in with some family members due to toxic situations.  I have recently discovered that my sister in law is ghosting me. I have offered her and her husband a holiday in  beautiful resort for 3 days for free.  But in order to do that I needed to talk to her.  She didn’t answer my call so I messaged the information to her.   She said she would ring me as she was busy.   Then I noticed she was active on Facebook.  I waited 24 hrs and tried to ring her again and her husband answer he said that they would like the holiday, however my sister in law was in the shower.  Finally she rang my husband and spoke to him and thanked him for the holiday.  I believe she has some family issues. I felt awful like I was stalking her by trying to give her a gift.    I feel at times I have found her supportive when I have had to deal with a crisis and know I feel I have lost another close friend due to my mental health.   I feel I have no choice but to step back and allow her to ring me if she wants too.  I know feel I maybe emotional dumping on people. My doctor and Psychiatrist are extremely supportive..  I am wanting to find a safe place to be myself 

[tyme]

I'm sorry to hear how hard it has been for you @Jessie21 .

I wonder if these forums can act as a safe space for you to be yourself?

[Jessie21]

Tyme thank you for your quick response. I am hoping this is the case. I am quite open about my mental health issues. I am know 72 and if I have to hide my life experiences that have led to who I am know then I would rather not have friends who don’t really know me. I am a very generous caring person and will go out of my way to be there for people in need. I thought we had come along way with education and support for people who have experienced trauma in their life. I am not sure we gone have as far as I thought 😓

[tyme]

Good on you for reaching out! It sounds like a huge step @Jessie21 

What are some things you are interested in e.g. hobbies? Interests?

[Jessie21]

Hi Tyme, I am retired I was aged and disability case Manager for thirty years. I am a bit burnt out from fighting upper management to ensure my clients receive appropriate level care and their rights protected. I am married and we live in a lovely over 55 retirement appartments. I love reading, movies and British mystery tv series. I was attending University third age yoga class. Unfortunately due to my bad knee I have withdrawn from yoga this term.. Meditation, self help programs. I spend time with my transgender daughter as much as I can as she lives alone. She has two young adult daughters who are having problems coping with the change in their Dad. So I try to provide emotional support to my granddaughters to adjust to the change in their Dad. I am also on call to babysit my 6 step great children who range in age from 9 mths to 7 years. How about you what is your interests etc

[tyme]

Hey @Jessie21 ,

That sounds so lovely that you have dedicated so much of your time to help others. We need more people like you.

I'm sorry to hear about your bad knee. Have you ever done chair yoga? Some places have that option. I have it in my local area - it's organised by local community groups and it's free of charge.

Your retirement place sounds lovely too. You must get to see a lot of people.

For me, I love helping people. It gives me something to live more. Helping people is what energises me and keeps me going.

[Crystally]

Sending you hugs, life can be so hard. So sorry for your loss. Hopefully your sister in-law has not been ghosting you but genuinely unable to talk ATM due to one thing or another. This sometimes happens to me, people try calling but I'm flat out with other things and I just don't have the capacity to get back to everyone until I'm feeling less stressed. I often take things personally and my 34 year old daughter (who has been learning heaps through her own counseling sessions) teaches me stuff I didn't know or understand before. Hopefully I'm making sense. Take care

[Jessie21]

Thank you I do love where we are living.  We do have chair Yoga at our apartments on Tuesday, I went a few times and liked it.  However I was doing the U3A yoga which was free and I preferred the the floor yoga.  Also on Tuesday is my day with my daughter.  The chair yoga is not free as it is run by one of the residents so I think it is away of supplement her income.  She was my yoga teacher with U3A prior to becoming a resident at our apartment but she now only does the chair yoga.  She only charges $10 cash only.  So I think it would be a good idea to return because there is a nice group of ladies who attend. I know I can work something out with my daughter.   Thank you for suggesting that it is a good idea 🌹

[Jessie21]

Crystal like you yes I at times take things personally and I do believe that my sister in law does have a genuine reason for not talking to me.   Like you my eldest daughter has advised me to accept where she is and give her space.   It still hurts though.  Especially when you are trying to do something nice for her.  I did not have a sister and I lost my brother in MVA  when I was only 19.  My elder brother is still alive unfortunately he is not a very nice person.  He is one of the reasons I have PTSD so I have had to keep my distance.  Two years ago my other sister-in-law died suddenly due to an aneurysm I miss her too.  So I think a lot of my sadness is due to grief of losing friends and family who are close to me.