Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

[greenpea]

@jess_27 Dear God I am not socialable at all except for online and my various doctors lol. I get overloaded and go a bit mad if I am around  too many people for too long. 

[jess_27]

Friendships and mental illness can be really tough. For me, I want someone who is reliable. But sometimes that makes me feel like a burden. I think it is important to make our expectations and boundaries in all relationships very clea.r 

[jess_27]

haha! I get that. That's what I am like normally but when I become manic I can't get enough of attention and affection! I think it is all about striking a balance. 

[Zoe7]

I am the same as @greenpea I don't have friendships outside of online but it is something I have been working on through DBT and the connections I have made there.

[Adge]

I said to my psychologist once - that I wish I had manic phases (I don't), because then I would have more energy.

She explained the down-side to me - so I said Ok, maybe not then...

I'm very introverted, so I need a lot of recovery time after social engagements.

Having severe fatigue issues also means that I must set limits to socialising - otherwise I pay a high price afterwards.

Adge

[greenpea]

@jess_27 You are right jess_27 bipolar is very destructive and it is hard for me to forgive myself for what I have done when I was very sick. I am still getting to that point. My psychologist once said to me that I (meaning me) would forgive someone of the most hideous crimes but would not forgive myself for what I have done and she is right. It is still a work in progress.

[jess_27]

I think the connections you make at group are so valuable! I'm still in a facebook group with some of the people from my group and it is a great source of social support. 

And also just because it is online doesn't make it any less real @Zoe7. 🙂 

[Teej]

Thanks for your response @greenpea. I have many friendships that span over more than thirty years but I drop out for years and then come back, especially over the past 7 years. I’ve dropped off the planet with all but one friend in the last 18months. I question how to have friendships again or what I want or need from them. 

Ironically forum friendships seem easier to maintain (using that word to mean stay somewhat connected). 

[jess_27]

That is so true! But it is possible to learn to forgive yourself. One of the biggest lessons I have learned is to be self-compassionate. You would be amazed the impact it can have on your relationships when you treat yourself better. 

[Zoe7]

I agree that online friendships and connections are very real - and none more than those we have here on the forum @jess_27