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JoJo99
Senior Contributor

Long Term caring and it's problems

Hi everyone, I am hoping to get support and advice from other carers. I have been a carer since I was 10 for my mother, then my husband and also my daughter. My mum is 94 and now in a aged care home but relies only on me. My husband passed away. My daughter is 29 and has an intellectual disability, depression and anxiety. 

It has all finally caught up with me and I am suffering from depression. I do not work. My daughter has been living out of home for two years and I am considering moving her back home because I don't seem to be able to look after myself, only someone else.

I really would love to hear from other long term carers to see if what I am going through has been experienced by others and they could offer me some advice.

101 REPLIES 101

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

You say you don't work. I say otherwise. You might not have paid employment but it sounds like you've never stopped working since you were ten.

You deserve a medal! 🥇I'm amazed it's only caught up with you now and there's little wonder you are depressed. What an incredible caring person you must be. 

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

Hi @soul thanku, it's just what I do. Then I started an animal rescue lol I didn't even click that it was yet another carers role! I really hope I can get some help on here, not quite sure how to navigate around the site. @Faith-and-Hope  🙂

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

Hi @JoJo99 .... 😊

Using the Search bar is one way to navigate the site.

Another way is to go to the Home page. Click on Carers Forum. There you will find a set of Discussion Topics.

If you click on one to open it you will find threads under that topic .... say .... Something's Not Right .... that talk about issues people are faced with, and they are trying to work out how to tackle it best, or even just to hear someone say that they understand, maybe facing the same sort of issue.

Our Stories is people writing a bit of a history to share with others where they have come from and what is going on for them.

Looking After Ourselves is more social stuff, more about self-care which is so essential for carers .....

I hope this helps.

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

Hello @JoJo99 Heart

you wrote ; I really would love to hear from other long term carers to see if what I am going through has been experienced by others and they could offer me some advice., I am hoping to get support and advice from other carers.

what kind of advice were you looking for , self care ? or , there is a thread called hints and tips for carers , but I am sure you could add some tips there for other carers

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

@JoJo99, I've tagged you over at the Hot Chocolate forum. You should get an email that you can click on and be directed there. Otherwise, type "hot chocolate" into the search bar. We have some fun over there and you would be most welcome.

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

Hi @Shaz51 @soul @Faith-and-Hope I haven't been in a forum before, really having trouble! I can find hot chocolate but don't know where to type, good grief I am sorry for being a pain. Really having trouble with my daughter 37 calls tonight 😞

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

No need to apologise @JoJo99 .... I hadn't used a forum before finding this one either, and it takes a little bit of time and a few patiently answered questions to find your way around .... perfectly not all and fine .... 😊

There ought to be a text box at the bottom of the page if you are on a phone, or click on the Reply button attached to the bottom of the previous post .... it doesn't matter particularly whether that was the perish you wanted to reply to or not ... it will still open a text box for you.

Have a play with it and see how you go ... 

Sorry you're having such a hard time with your daughter tonight.  I hope you get to sleep .....

I went for a couple of long walks today after some strife with my darling hubby yesterday and today, and now my eyes are rolling around in my head a bit with tiredness catching up on me, so I'm gonna say goodnight now, but there might be a few others from the west still on Hot Chocolate if you pop in there ....

G'night .... 😴💤

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

@JoJo99 - the "search the forum bar" might be at the top of the screen depending on what device you are using. I'm on an iPad at the moment. It's a long white horizontal rectangle with a little magnifying glass to the right of it. You will need to scroll up. 

Your daughter seems particularly needy tonight. Is there a particular problem that she has that she is calling you about? 

Re: Long Term caring and it's problems

@JoJo99 - this is what you are looking for:-

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