Our stories
Hi @Corny, and thanks for replying.
Broken brain? Oh yeah, its broken all right. I really feel it right now. Yes its true that I normally sleep better in colder months. But that is dependent on triggers, so it varies. But in general ... yes ... I sleep more soundly in cold weather. Some thing to be said to be wrapped up in a warm and comforting doona and to feel warm and safe. I feel very exposed and vulnerable in summer, under only a sheet.
I can totally relate about the news lately. I read only a couple of weeks ago an article from Germaine Greer about rape. It totally disgusted me. It was a pretty major trigger. Then, like you, I happened to see the news regarding the young 11 year old girl who was abducted and sexually assaulted, plus the young woman in Melbourne who was raped and murdered in Melbourne. It was a major trigger for me too. It could have been me, I too could have been killed. Its a horrible thing, and it shook me up quite considerably.
It is a reminder that we really need to be so careful about what we read and watch in everyday life. There are no simple solutions to this, its everywhere - radio, newspapers, television. Where do you draw the line between a normal life and a half-life.
Are you still a member on the 'other forum'? I hope you're not like me and been banned for life for having an opinion. What hurt so badly was that I was an official volunteer (CC) at the time, and in desperate need of support due to a number of serious life changing events. Unfortunately there is plainly no duty of care from management there. It does not pay to have an opinion or to speak up about things you see which are very wrong there. All they want to do is close you down and shut you up. So much for so-called support for their volunteers. You will actually notice quite a few members here who used to be there, including other CCs. Here is a much more caring and understanding environment. And they dont change your posts to meaningless garbage. You get to change your own posts if necessary.
I hope you are settling in here okay? As you are both Lived Experience as well as Carers section, have you opened up a support thread in both sections yet? I have one in each section, which is quite useful. I find myself gravitating between the two, depending on which I find the most overwhelming at the time.
I hope you manage to get back to your previous 6-7 hours sleep at night. Oh how I wish I could. I cant remember the last time I had that amount of sleep. Maybe mid last year. More normal for me since then has been at best a couple of hours here and there. Generally I wake up every hour or two and then have difficulty getting back to sleep.
Hubby is also a constant concern because I tend to get up and check on him a couple of times a night, just to make sure he's still breathing and not tried to get up and subsequently fallen over.
Okay, again .. its nice to see another familiar face around here. Hope to talk again soon.
Sherry 
Hi @Corny, thats okay, its a pleasure. Glad you liked the picture. Another one of the many good things of here.
Yes I was meant to see my psych on Thursday, but either she or one of her children were sick, and the receptionist rang and asked to reschedule to this week. I was terribly disappointed, because I really needed to see her. Admittedly she is really good to me, but I really felt let down on Thursday. The receptionist did pass on the message that I could email the psych if I needed to. But of course I dont like to do that when she's sick. Oh well ... I will see her this week instead. It still hurt, even though it should not have done.
Interesting what you say about the 'other forum'. I'm sorry you went through that, it would not have been a pleasant experience. Incidentally, my main gripe with them was also related to security and my right to remain anonymous. I cannot say any more than that, but suffice to say I felt very disillusioned unsupported and devastated by the whole experience.
I wish it were so easy as to just stay away from internet, television, radio and print media. However to think that will protect us from triggers is simply not realistic. For me, I am drawn to news about rapes and sexual assaults. I have asked my psych about it in the past, and she said that not everyone follows the 'avoidance' path. I guess it makes some sense when you consider that, to know whats going on around us means we are better prepared and thus better able to protect ourselves. In theory at any rate. Its all a part of the 'hyper arousal' and hyper vigilance thing. Which is well known. There is this need to read and be constantly aware of everything related to our trauma related past. All a part of our self preservation and attempts to keep ourselves safe. I know it isn't particularly well known, mainly because everyone is very aware of 'avoidance' behaviour, and this other behaviour probably seems contradictory. But my psych says it isnt uncommon at all.
Goodness me Corny, you've always come across to me as being someone of high intelligence and yes, most definitely highly intuitive. And also incredibly aware and well informed. No wonder you were cranky. Mind you, I can almost guarantee that to try to take it further would not have achieved anything. I've done that, and unfortunately they just change the rules to suit themselves. One of their most common used statements to me was: "It is at our discretion, and no further discussion will be entered into". Unfortunately you cannot argue with that, wrong though it is.
I hope you have a better week this week Corny. Would you like me to tag you into a few other threads which you may be interested in? I'm happy to if you'd like. Although I notice you have already put the Art Thread on your favourites list. Have you also worked out how to put threads onto your subscribed lists? If there is any threads you would like to keep track of, just select the drop down option called "Post Options" and you will see several options there, including 'favourites' and 'subscribe'. I wouldnt recommend you subscribe to threads which have heaps of posts such as Friday Feast however. Because you will get email notifications for every post which takes place. But personal support threads, yeah .. its a good idea to. Your own thread for example, just in case someone posts but doesnt tag you. You will still get an email notification. I'm sure you will find your way around in no time.
Off to bed now. Early apt for hubby at the eye Dr in the morning. Followed by one for myself to get stitches out from under my eye. They've been driving me nuts all weekend.
Sherry
