Lived Experience Forum

[JackJane]

You are not struggling alone, neither are you alone.

Also, did the Psychologist tell you why your appointment was put back to a later date?  And have you contacted him/her to say you are struggling and if they would see you ASAP?  I would hope that this Psychologist would rearrange their schedule to see you urgently, and to be honest, I would expect that if I were in this situtation with my own Therapist.  Maybe you can speak to your Psychologist and ask for helpful things to try until you see him/her?

If you can't see the Psychologist, then can you make an urgent appointment with your Doctor?

I also think another point was made in this Forum about contacting a help-line.  I have found Lifeline (either via phone or their online chat during night hours) very helpful.

Otherwise family or friends you trust to help you and talk to or who can visit you.  I also find positive distraction good - TV, music you enjoy, books to read or something to help you take your mind off the thoughts.

During those times I struggle I find that writing a list of those things in your life that are positive - and I know we have times where we can't see those things as positive but they are actually there.  Even something so simple as going to my window and watch our little Blue Fairy Wrens 'singing' is something visual that I see and also that I hear (and they are so cute, tiny little birds).  Nature is a wonderful distraction.

I also know for a fact these times pass and that's what I tell myself when I am struggling - they always pass because they always have and I have come out the other end.  But please try to make contact and request your Psychologist bring forward your session time.

Keep posting here if it makes you feel better, or contact Lifeline or another helpline.

Please take care.

JJ.

[Appleblossom]

I think that this forum was developed to deal with this kind of thing.  So though not a crisis service ... it is the purpose and reason a lot of us are drawn to read and post on this site.

Personally when I am down I can be pretty convincing to myself that it is the most realistic solution ... now I am beginning to realise that even if I can find lots of so-called reasons ... just the thought I am thinking that way is worth challenging.

Good Luck with your appointment 

... with a few good distractions sometimes we get a little shift in the feeling and start to be able to focus on our day.

[NikNik]

@Former-Member

No need to apologise! I think it's a really productive conversation to have.

How are you today? Did you find any of the suggestions helpful?

Nik

[Former-Member]

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the help.
Thanks @NikNik!
Knowing I'm not the only person in the world that's felt this way helps. I'm just struggling to keep my mind on my job and study which are both super busy right now, while the other half of my brain is thinking super negative thoughts all day.
I've got an appointment with my doc on Monday. I just hate the dichotomy of needing her to know how crappy I feel, yet not wanting to let her know that it's gotten this bad. I just want this to stop.
Sorry for the massive whinge everyone. Just need to let it out.....

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

Hi @Former-Member I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way. I am feeling similar atm too, and this thread was pointed out to me earlier to join in on.
I had a psychologist appointment yesterday, where I finally got the nerve up to say I think about suicide. Plan and everything. Which is the first time I've ever spoken about it all out loud. Which somehow makes it all seem more real, more like a concrete idea.

I don't have another appointment for 3-4 weeks, so hopefully I can wait.

I suppose for me, when I am feeling like this, I make sure I have people around. So a friend is coming over tomorrow to catch-up. My Sundays are always busy and therapeutic. Work, which'll be tough, as my friend is away for the week, but I have his duties on top of mine, and I don't want to let him down.

What sort of things could help you?

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Crazy_Bug_Lady.
It's so hard saying it out loud, you should be proud of yourself for having the courage to do so. But not having an appointment for 3 weeks or so worries me. What did your psychologist say? Did they give you any tips for how to cope with the thoughts? Do you think you'll be able to cope that long between appointments?

I was pretty suicidal before my last hospital visit and I know being around people helps a bit. But I'm just so numb and disconnected from the world being around others almost highlights how bad I'm feeling and that I'll never be a normal person again.
I've got a few things I'd need to sort out if I was to do it so I'm hoping by that time I'll be feeling better again. I'm hoping my doctor will have a solution on Monday.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member
Yes I feel so alone out in public - I see families together, women having coffees or shopping together and feel so alone and just 'know' that I'll never be like 'them' or happy. I'm so tired of just existing and surviving from one event to the next.

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

No, there wasn't really any talk about coping with the thoughts... He just gave me a really old photocopy of a "no suicide contract" which is of no help, as it says to speak to your partner/children/grandchildren. Which I don't have, so really unhelpful.
It just really hurt to finally say it all out loud, plan and everything, and now I don't know... saying it loud made it seem like a decent option...
If I need to I will see my GP, or try and get an earlier appointment with my psychiatrist.

[Former-Member]

@Crazy_Bug_Lady it is really good that you have a plan and someone you can trust. I am wondering if you have someone to talk to outside of business hours?

[Former-Member]

Hugs @Crazy_Bug_Lady

My psych always asks me to ring the south Australian mental health line which is 13 14 65 - they are 24 hours and are psych nurses on shift I think at Glenside who can contact a psychiatrist if they need, also give you advice on medication etc and listen (however I've not phoned them so far) but just thought of this for you because you are an sa girl too!
Lj